lunch blog

As I sit down to a lunch of leftover enchiladas at my own house! I think oh I'll type a blog, its been a few days.  However I can't find my book of blog notes!  Sigh!  Now I don't know what to type!  lol  See, I had a book with topic ideas and then I blogged Kirsten's essay and then I blogged all about Kayson, so now its been so long and we weren't home for forever and I have no idea where to look for it after I looked every place I could think of that I might've put it.  So I guess I will just see where this blog goes and what comes out of my head and it might be a very boring post or an interesting one depending on what my fingers do.  LOL  If I'm honest, I'm a bit scared to type a post without a clear direction, I'm a little concerned I would be too negative.  My house is such a mess, the laundry is behind, I sooooo miss my vehicle, we didn't get our sams trip this year so we are running out of stuff, I feel so overwhelmed a lot of the time and I miss Keegan.  Then theres the worries too.  Will Kayson need surgery?  Is Keegan really adjusting to school ok?  If Kayson is dyslexic, will he end up in school too?  Can we figure out Kirsten's migraines or will she end up needing to see the neuro in Dallas?  but I don't want to wallow in all that, I really don't.  I try to focus on more positives, it's still hard and I totally lose the battle sometimes and just want to sit and cry but I try and I pray and I do know that God is with us and has us in his hands and is so super amazing!  So my mind turns to spring and Easter, I love Easter!  I love thinking on new life and new beginnings and this year that has an even deeper meaning as I look at my Kayson.  The world is green, new green and yellow (but that's neg again so maybe we will skip over that!  LOL) so back to the green and purple and so new.  The sun is peeking through the clouds as I type.  I think of my babies, my precious babies!  I need to make sure that the others know how special they still are to this family too.  They are all miracles, every baby is, specially formed by our Creator, miracles!  Kirsten just amazes me with her thoughtfulness and her kind heart.  Chris amazes me with his academics, I think he's totally smarter than I ever was!  and I love to watch him be a part of a team and excel in his running.  Cayden, my Cayden, may I be able to guide him without crushing him.  He is definitely my freethinker and independent and he thinks he knows it all, that worries me with his peers sometimes, I hope he can tone that down and make friends!  I know God has plans for that one!  I know He has plans for them all, really.  Keegan!  I just love how they all add so much to our family!  We would be lost without any one of them!  Back to Keegan, He really is so very caring and compassionate.  He has a hard time with self control at times but his heart is so sensitive and he loves Kayson so much and has a special bond with Kalani.  Kalani, I don't think I have to worry that she knows she is super special!  LOL  She knows!  She thinks she rules the house!  She just got in my lap and is falling asleep.  I think that means it is nap time!  must locate a pacifier!  So I will say goodbye for now.  Maybe I will find my blog topics soon, in the meantime I will start a new list of ideas, on my phone, lol.  I am open to suggestions.  :-D