Tuesday, June 12, 2018

Kayson Strong as an Eagle ~ Surgery Day 2 ~ Pre-op

Up early, hotel breakfast, Kayson wanted two pancakes, he said, but I was trying to talk him into one bc I knew he wouldn't eat two but the lady heard and gave him two anyways, lol.  Pre-op went well, they took labs, he sat in my lap and didn't even cry!  Then we took the shuttle over to the hosp for his CT scan.  The CT had Mario stickers, so cool and Kayson liked that they gave me a batman cover to wear.  While he was finishing in CT, my phone rang, it was RMH saying we got a room.  PTL!  So we checked out of our hotel but couldn't check into RMH till two so we headed to Grapevine Mills.  Kayson wanted go to Legoland as his before surgery fun activity.  We had lunch at the food court, everyone ate something different, lol.  Then a carousel ride.  After, onto Legoland, except when we bought our tickets they told us that they stagger the entry times now and we couldn't get in till 2:45, it was only like 1:30, what do we do now?  So we went over to the Sealife Aquarium first.  It was neat, they had an area where you could "rescue" a plastic sea turtle, treat its boo boos, feed it and return it to the ocean.  Kayson was so excited about that but got sad when he realized he couldn't keep his turtle that he had named squirt.  When we got to the gift shop Glenn found a stuffed turtle that looked like Squirt and Kayson was so excited to get to take him home!  :)  Then onto Legoland.  Kayson loved all the legos and driving a police car around the track and watching a 4D movie (these seats stay still, so he could enjoy this one) and the gift shop where he got to pick out a lego set to build after his surgery.  Then Marmie (Hollie's mom) met us at RMH to check in and get our room.  Marmie took us to eat at Olive Garden.  Mmmm......so good!  When we arrived back at RMH, therapy dogs were visiting.  We enjoyed seeing them.  It was almost bedtime and Kayson needed a bath before surgery with special soap.  Then everyone got in bed, tomorrow was going too be an early early day!

Thursday, June 7, 2018

Kayson Strong as an Eagle ~ surgery day 1 ~ into Dallas

Monday 6-4-18

Since we didn't have to be in Dallas by a specific time, we decided to leave sometime after lunch so Kayson was able to attend a local VBS for one day.  He really loves VBS!  It was super hard to drop him off though!  I know people there and I knew he would do great, he's been to this one the last 2 years or so but still it was hard.  He had a great time!  :)  Kirsten rode in with me to take the boys and Chris was weeding at Meme's when we left and Glenn was running get ready for Dallas errands so we had Kalani too.  So I decided to take my girls to IHOP for breakfast.  Yum!  :)  When we got home, Chris was home from his weeding and we had just enough time to watch one Criminal Minds before heading in for the younger boys.  Then Chris decided to ride in with us and Glenn was still in town so we picked them up and met him for lunch at Five Guys, we all love that place!  I took the younger four home after that and Glenn ran to walmart with the teens to get them some last minute necessities for their summer youth trip.  We decided we better pack now and get headed to our hotel in Dallas, RMH was full.  We left about 4.  RAIN????  Where did that come from?  A Buccees stop, of course!  lol  Then a stop at Best Buy bc baby boy needed new headphones.  He accidentally pulled the ear part off his others and was using Keegan's but the ear pads had come off of those and I didn't really like just plastic covering his ears.  His daddy ran in and found him some Incredibles 2 ones and he was so excited to get them!  We made it to the hotel, ordered pizza, watched Kubo, well they did, I took a bath, lol.  BEDTIME!  Early pre op appts in the am!  :-o

Thursday, May 24, 2018

Migraine

by Kirsten Derr

Pounding
Pounding
Always pounding
Like a miner in a mine

Brighter
Brighter
Always brighter
The light seems to shine

Louder
Louder
Always louder
The voices are than mine

The heat
Heat
Heat
Always makes it worse
I could scream till I go hoarse

Will it ever go away
This aching every day
Lying in wait
To strike
On a random date.

Wednesday, May 23, 2018

I am me

by Kirsten Derr

I am me
I'm not society's beautiful
I'm not the worlds definition of
blessed
I am me
And that is enough
I have all the family I need
I have those few loyal friends
I am me
And that is enough

Tuesday, May 22, 2018

Faith

How do you hold onto/keep your faith when you feel like God is nowhere to be found, when you feel like your prayers are empty and no one hears them?  I know this is a hard place to admit when we are in after all aren't christians supposed to be perfect, aren't we supposed to have all the answers?! Aren't we supposed to be strong because Christ is strong?!  But if we are honest with ourselves and others and God, we have all been here before!  You know what?  GOD KNOWS!!!!  It is not a surprise to Him!  He doesn't want perfect, He wants us!  How can His strength shine through if we aren't willing to allow our weakness to be seen, ever?  Why do we act like God can't handle our weakness and our questions and our doubts at times?  NO, If I truly believe that God can handle life and death, if I believe that He raised my son (and I do bc the docs do not have an explanation for how he survived the stroke!), if I truly believe that God knows all and is supreme and is all powerful then I have to believe that He can handle my insecurities and doubts, that they do NOT scare Him!  That He is prepared for the questions and weakness and doubts.  So how do we hold to our faith in scary moments?  in questioning?  Yes, prayer......yes, read your Bible......yes, seek wise counsel, do not discount the importance of a true church family that will love you and come alongside side you in life.  These are all very important but I would also like to mention something else that some may see as too simple but I would venture to say, in my life has sometimes had the biggest impact of all.  That has helped the previously mentioned things really come to life.  First I would like to mention two passages of scripture.  "Seek and ye shall find" Matt. 7:7 and God in a "still small voice" from 1 Kings 19:11-12.  So, here it is, look for God!  Look for His hand in your life.  How might He be holding you, how might He be trying to get your attention?  And do not discount the small!  The green trees and pretty flowers and blue skies speak of His glory and majesty, look up!  He knows life is hard and healing takes time but you can find Him.  Kalani, our little ball of sunshine and energy and what would we ever do without her, we didn't know we needed her, but God did.  Our kitchen table is not a new example but we needed one years ago and didn't have any extra money and God touched someone's heart and we had a nice table given to us!  Even baby boy's neck brace speaks of God.  Without God he wouldn't be with us and neither would that brace!  I look at my teens and see God!  They are wonderful people and thoughtful and fun and they have a faith that only can be from Him.  With everything our family has been through and seen and dealt with, my babies are happy and loving, that can only be God!  Our property is a gift from God, so beautiful and peaceful and truly a sanctuary for us.  We have a porch, people that have loved us through our struggles and helped us in tangible ways and prayer support and encouraging words.  I have a friend that sends cards a few times a year, I can't tell you how touched I am every time I open my mailbox and see an envelope from her!  All these things that come from God!  He does provide.  Sometimes it's hard to see through the hard but I believe He understands and He's waiting for us to find Him and He reaches out to us in big and small ways.  He wants to strengthen our faith and he wants a relationship with us.  He is there for the good and bad.  He wants us, all of us, the pretty and ugly.  Seek Him and remember He is in the small too!

Thursday, May 10, 2018

Prayer

Again this may not be your typical "christian" post.  Just a few ramblings of a stay home mama who loves God and has seen his hand in so much but has also lived through hard.  First, I am not an intercessor.  I pray for those who are and highly respect them and they are very much needed but I am not one, nor do I feel called to be one.  I've struggled with guilt over this for a good part of my life, feeling like something was wrong with me bc I just couldn't focus for hours at a time on prayer all by itself.  Don't get me wrong, I pray!  I pray before bed, I pray at the grocery store, I prayed at Kayson's hospital bedside, I pray as I drive, I pray as I talk to babies, I prayed about this blog, I talk to God about everything, good, bad, about things I don't understand, about how to wife and parent and friend, about truth, what is and isn't, about what He has blessed us with and what I'm thankful for.  Sometimes I don't even really realized I have prayed, almost like breathing but more like just sharing life with a friend but a friend who is always there, a friend I won't wear out my welcome, a friend that won't tire of my issues of which I have plenty, lol.  So, I think my encouragement to you would be to just pray, if your called to be an intercessor, we need you!  I'm sure there are moments in life that only an intercessor's prayers have carried us through!  I've felt them and I thank you!  However if that is not your calling, God still wants to hear from you.  Share the everyday with Him, I even have asked him to guide my grocery shopping and at least once I felt the need to put back something I was going to buy and found out like the next day that the very thing I was planning on feeding my kids when we got home, the whole reason we stopped by the store to get lunch and plans changed as I was picking it off the shelf and we bought and ate something else was recalled!  Thank you, God.  Another thought, there have been times when I felt I couldn't pray or I just didn't know what to pray and I relied on other's prayers.  Don't get me wrong, we cannot live our whole lives this way, God wants us but I believe He understands the depth of some pain, I believe He patiently waits for us to be able to speak with Him again but He still hears the prayers of others on our behalf!  So be encouraged and talk to our Father in Heaven!  :)

Monday, May 7, 2018

Can God use you?

I could answer this question with all kinds of wonderful amazing Biblical examples of simple people who did amazing things as encouragement that you too can do great things, however, I would like to go in a different direction with this post.  I wonder how God sees our everyday ordinary lives.  When He looks down on us from his majestic throne does He think, oh those little humans, running around doing absolutely nothing with their lives, don't they know they should be more?  I think the answer is NO!!!!  He looks on us in love and even laughter at times.  :) I think we all have great things in us but we don't always recognize it.  We let the world beat us down and make us feel small.  So a few reflective questions.  Is it always the BIG and showy that speaks the most to your heart?  How many times a day do think you might make someone else smile, even a small one?  How many others have blessed you just through kindness in a hard moment?  How many times has someone else coaxed a small smile from you through your tears?  Another one, is it always in person?  over text? through a phone call?  over facebook?  Speaking of facebook, do you ever feel like measuring the effective of your post based on how many likes or comments you get?  On that note, do you look at a post that made you laugh or smile and think well that only has five likes, they shouldn't have wasted our time posting that?  NO!  Well, I don't.  I'm just glad it was posted and it brightened my day, even if I'm the only one that liked it.  I struggled with these feelings a bit when I first got on FB, and if maybe I shouldn't post and then I thought, it doesn't matter, if my words, or pic, or whatever makes one person smile, if it touches just one life, even in a very small way, it was worth it!  And not just on FB either.  Any small daily tasks sometimes I would question.  Did it really matter if I took my kids to the park, did I touch anyone?  What about at the grocery store, did I make difference?  Then I thought, maybe I did.  What about when I encouraged that mom of littles that was close to tears bc her child wouldn't listen?  What about when I spoke to the cashier like they were a real person?  What about when I encourage my children to see and thank those that most people ignore, the man cleaning the tables at the restaurant, the lady cleaning our room at the hotel, the person washing the windows at the store?  So, I think my encouragement here would be that God shines through in the everyday, He shines in the small.  You don't have to "go viral" to make a difference.  God can use you where you are at!