Glass Bottle part 4

Confusion. Why would my grandparents choose the cult over my family? Were we not good enough? I wrestled with this daily. Why did Mama not get out of bed till noon? What was wrong with my mother? Why was she like this? Because when you're ten you don't understand the severity of depression and how it can affect daily life. Day after day these questions kept bouncing around in my head, round and round they went. In the morning waiting to see if Mama was going to get up that day, I would take care of my brothers: Chris-9, Cayden-5, Keegan-3 and Kayson-1. I would make sure they ate, and kept quiet so Mama could rest. We usually would end up in front of the t.v. watching whatever good came on PBS Kids. After all, what else was  I supposed to do? I am the oldest; It's my job to take care of my younger siblings. One question, though: did I do a good enough job?