If I'd as Much Money as I Could Spend

If I'd as much money as I could spend,
 I never a broken heart could mend;
I never could buy the snow to send,
 Or buy a trip to the rainbow's end,
If I'd as much money as I could spend.

If I'd as much money as I could tell,
 I never could make a cockle shell;
I never could stay the spring's farewell,
 Or store the tide to buy and sell,
If I'd as much money as I could tell.

If I'd as much money from Pole to Pole,
 I never could buy my friend's dear soul,
For only Jesus can make us whole,
 And write our names on Heaven's scroll;
                 And HE ever could!
                 Oh, HE ever would
                 Do all these things,
                 Kindly and free,
                 Out of His love
                 For you and me.
                                From The Christian Mother Goose Big Book by Marjorie Ainsborough Decker

I read this to Kayson for school today and wanted to share it.  We are using this book as his social studies/character class.  :)  This even made me think about some things!  :)

How Are You

I walk in
  it comes
 that question
"how are you?"
my response
  "good"
smile
just smile
but wait
is that a lie?
did I lie?
Honestly,
  I hurt,
 I'm broken
I'm angry
  I'm not good
 I'm not ok
I want to be
   but I'm not
I'm just not
would you care?
do you want my honesty?
why do you ask?
would you stop?
would you listen?
would you let me cry?
would you pray with me?
   would you?
 Honestly, would you?
There's no time
everyone would look at us
thats more than you want
smile
just smile
just reply
   "good"
keep it all in
 like a good girl
How are you?
   good
smile
 just smile
always smile
its expected
so
HOW ARE YOU?

                 Hollie L. Derr

Homeschool day # 35 (2014/2015 school year)

This might be a long one, as I sit down to type it out and look at my notes from the day (some days I jot notes down as I think of something worth saying or remembering, not everyday, but some.  I started that bc so many times I would think I want to remember that for my blog and wouldn't, so several years into this blogging adventure, ok maybe not exactly several but a few, lol, I have finally started to take some notes!) I realize they cover 2 pages of my journal!  So, here goes........and the alarm goes off at 7:30 NOOOOOO, I don't want to get up!  I refuse!  I finally drag myself out of bed after much persuasion and weighing the pros and cons of starting the school day later, sigh.  lol  Yea, its finally cool outside, almost cold!  I love the cooler weather, the colder the better!  I realize it is 64 in the house.  To heat, or not to heat?  That is the question.  I decide not to bc it is supposed to warm up a little today and since I no longer have a baby in the house we can save the electric and hopefully keep the a/c off all day!  :)  9 am, time for our PE walk.  We decide to check in on Papa while we are walking.  He answered the door!  :)  He was glad to see us!  Then we continue our walk around the property.  I advise my littles that it would be a good idea to stay OUT of puddles (which my comp just autocorrected to poodles!  LOL).  Two of them were wearing house shoes!  (Darth Vader and Cookie Monster!)  Keegan is having to discover other shoe choices as he wore out the heel on one boot and it was causing him to walk sideways and I was afraid he might hurt his spine or something if he kept wearing them so I took them away!  He was very SAD!  So, as we are walking Chris mentions a dream he had.  Well, I actually had a dream last.  I don't always dream, well, not that I remember anyways.  So I told them about my dream and the two olders thought it was so funny!  As I thought more about it though, I wondered if it was just confirmation that Keegan needs to be home with me and not in school as I had briefly (very very very briefly, as I enjoy having my babies home and find it such a blessing to be able to watch them learn!) considered letting him go to school with his cousin.  I am not saying I think every dream is a sign or anything like that or that every dream is even significant, some dreams are just that, dreams, nothing more, nothing less.  Anyways, I dreamed Keegan was in school, in kindergarten and the teacher was really upset at him and writing me notes and telling me that I HAD to do something about him and in general not being very nice.  (do not read this as a statement on how I feel about teachers!  this is just how the dream went!)  See Keegan likes to make noises, a lot, sometimes almost constantly!  I do not think he can always help it, I do not think he is always conscious of doing it or being so loud.  Sometimes when we have asked him to quiet down he has kind of looked at us blankly like he didn't even know he was loud.  He tries and he is learning to be more aware and self controlling but he is only 5 and it takes time.  Sometimes he does this while walking circles around the living room.  He kind of gets in his own little zone.  If you listen to him you will discover he is telling stories, someday I need to try to record it bc he can be quite imaginative!  I could definitely see how this could be a problem in a classroom setting though and sometimes its quite annoying for me, when I'm tired or stressed but I know he needs more patience and help to remember to control his actions and emotions better.  So, I thought maybe the dream was telling me that he is right where he needs to be, home with me, even though sometimes its hard!  It was such a pretty day to be outside today!  11 am more school - somedays, I feel like I spend my whole day reading aloud!  between our read aloud book and Kayson's school and Keegan's.  lol, I enjoy it but my throat doesn't always!  :)  Kayson, "I'm coloring it big bc this is a big crayon."  He has the jumbo crayolas for school!  He also says his "n"s like "m"s so ninja comes out "minja" and tornado is "tormado"  It's so cute!  12 - lunch - Cosby Show on Derr ISD lunch Theatre!  :)  I forgot how much I loved this show as a kid!  We were rolling from laughing so much!  and I love Kirsten's dramatic responses!  :)  "Oh, mommy, they need some help!" and when Cliff tells Theo, "I brought you in this world, I can take you out!  Come here"  She said, "What, you just threatened to kill me and now you want to come here?!?"  ROFL!  1:30 pm  Lunch ran late bc we were so busy laughing at the Cosby Show, anyways, more school and I realize Cayden is STILL on his first subject!!!!  OH, that boy!  He just stalls and stalls and stalls, so frustrating!  Keegan was coloring his work and discovered that red and blue make purple!  I love watching them make these kinds of discoveries on their own, I love that they can be observant enough to absorb the knowledge themselves without always needing to be formally "taught" it!  Its so cool to see those "lightbulb" moments!  Just sooooooo exciting!  :D  He also discovered green while coloring on blue with yellow.  3 pm  Kayson had on an army jacket and hat, he put the hat on our paper towels and was talking to them.  The hat is still there!  lol.  I took my little soldier for a nap.  7:30 pm  WOW, I was really really tired!!!  Glenn had got home from training and just let me sleep.  Kayson didn't wake up too long before I did, either.  I discover Cayden is STILL NOT done with school!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  UGH!!!!!!!!!  I could SCREAM!!!!!!!!!  What is his deal?  This is an ongoing issue with him!  Not an everyday one but a frequent one!  He just refuses!  Ive seen him sit for hours not doing one paper and when he decides to do it, its done in 5-10 min!  HOURS, people, HOURS!!!!!!!!  Yes, we've had consequences, yelling, tears, rewards for well done jobs, missed opportunities, etc, etc and still it goes on!  9 pm finds Cayden still finishing up his school and me sitting at the table with him doing my Beth Moore homework.  Finally 30 min past bedtime all school for the day is done!  10:30  I sit in a quieter, darker house to take a few minutes to type our day out.  Everything is ready for another round of school tomorrow, I hear Adventures in Odessy playing in the littles room to put them to sleep and an occasional sound from a not sleepy yet bc he had a nap Kayson who is playing in his crib till he gets sleepy enough for sleep.  I just heard howling dogs!  lol, Chris just came in to kiss me goodnight bc he is headed to bed to sleep.  I believe I will head to bed soon also and hopefully it will be easier to get up when the alarm goes off in the am!  :)

a few days

As I sit here waiting on Kayson to fall asleep while listening to the Frozen soundtrack (every night!!!) I think I will write a few highlights of the last few days.  Mondays are gymnastics class and the babies are loving it!  The older two have no problems though telling me how much pain they are in the next day!  I'm all like well, its good for you!  lol  :)  Then we ran by the library, they also love the library!  I love that they love to read.  Cayden found a few books to buy with bday money, they have some for sale at the front.  A little side note here, we do not like the current decorations at the library!  I have heard they plan on decorating more for October.  Looks like we will be avoiding the library till next month!!! Then we ran by Sams to pick up bacon for lunch.  Glenn likes having those mornings to himself.  It's his only day off.  That night we went to our first care group meeting at the church.  It was good.  We are enjoying meeting new people.  Yes, I still have panic attacks before church bc it still feels new.  I am still scared, scared something will happen and they will all hate me. I do not believe this but it is how I feel!  Everyone has been wonderful and so sweet and so accepting!  EVERYONE!!!  Even when a boy showed up in house shoes with a monkey on his hand and proceeded to throw said monkey in the trash!  Someone even found me a kroger bag to put the rescued monkey in till he could get washed!  lol  Oh no, I think he is still out in Silver, oops!  In fact Silver needs cleaned out!  Then we had school the last two days and we will school tomorrow!  I usually love morning walks but this particular morning I saw4 spiders!!!  I seriously dislike spiders, like so scared of them!  CREEPY!  Other than the spiders it was so peaceful, cool, falling leaves, chirping birds, even a woodpecker!  This morning at breakfast I was making a big deal out of popping the biscuit cans.  I really don't like the pop!  I never have!  It's just a thing I have, sigh!  lol, so Kirsten volunteered to pop the last can for me and used her fingernails to put pressure on the seam as I am backing away from the pop and she was all like, "It's just a pop!  It's not a bomb!"  :)  Then we are sitting at the breakfast table and the boys are saying' "Bee-do, bee-do, bee-do"  This conversations follows:  Cayden, "thats what minions do to the fire"  Glenn, "I don't see you purple or yellow"  Cayden, (matter of factly), "Its just for fun"  Kirsten, "I don't see fire"  lol  Yesterday, Honey cooked dinner!  :D  We watched Honey I Shrunk the Kids, our babies loved it!  Tonight we had church.  I am so glad that the babies love it so much!  They ask to go.  They have friends there.  It's great.  On the way home, you know the lllllllooooooonnnnnnggggg drive home!  lol, Cayden says, "When will we be home?"  Kirsten replies, "When the trees stop moving!"  and then I hear Keegan, "Are we there yet?"  Oh, my!  One would think we live hours from church!  Last night we finished watching the last season of Criminal Minds so we would be prepared for the start of the new season tonight!  I am soooooooo excited!  Now, Glenn is home from work and we can watch it!  WooHoo!  On that note, goodnight!  :)

You Hurt Her

You say you're sorry
but how it hurts
you say you're sorry
but the bruises appear
you say you're sorry
but the babies saw
     and now fear
you say you're sorry
that you love me?
you say you're sorry
but you hurt me again!
you say you're sorry

finally..........

finally................

finally...........................

I DON'T BELIEVE YOU ANYMORE!!!

Now.......

I'm learning
this isn't what love looks like
I'm learning
REAL MEN DON'T HIT WOMEN
I'm learning
babies shouldn't fear daddies
I'm learning
I AM LOVABLE
I'm learning
I deserve better
I'm learning
It's ok to walk away

I'm STRONGER
I'm a good person,
     a great mom

I WILL SURVIVE!!!

                                 by Hollie Derr

Homeschool day # 24 (2014/2015 school year)

Stayed up late last night watching Criminal Minds.  We are trying to finish the last season before the new one starts!  :)  So I had trouble waking up but did get up and tried to take a walk, had to turn around at a spider web with a big spider in it!!!  Oh, how those things scare me!  Today was NED day.  (No Electronic Devices day).  No TV, no DS, no iPad.  The Littles were outside after Bible before breakfast.  Then the older three were working on school, ugh I have a slight headache but the two littles were back out, one of them dressed as Mario!  Finally, last weeks school was complete! Woohoo!  My headache was worse but I had packets for this week made before lunch which we ate together as a family at the table!  :)  After lunch I took ibuprofen (I had already applied oils more than once!  Love my oils but this was an ibuprofen headache!)  and went to bed.  I thought I would just lay there and rest for a little bit while the meds kicked in before Glenn left for work.  As Honey was saying goodbye, Kayson fell out of his high chair!  bonked his head pretty good!  These boys scare me sometimes!  Tonight we decided to go to church, the kids had started asking about going on wed. nights.  They really enjoy this church.  Kayson chose to wear mismatched shoes, not a battle I felt like fighting!  lol.  Glenn got to meet us at the church for dinner.  We love grabbing those moments with him.  :)  The kids enjoyed their classes:  The olders are together and tonight was service night so they went somewhere and helped make bags of food to hand out to those who need it.  This was a stretch for me, letting them go.  Then they were later getting back and I was having to tell myself all was fine as I'm sitting in the hallway trying unsuccessfully to keep three littles boys calm!  Cayden loved his class after he decided it was ok to stay!  He's 8!  He's the one so unsure of the new classes but he was also one of the ones asking to come!  Silly boy but he really enjoyed and wants to go back.  :)  The two littles are in class together too and they had a good time.  I decided to join the ladies class.  They are Starting a Beth Moore Bible Study.  Wow, its been a few years since I did one! This will be my second time through Breaking Free.  Now we are home.  Kiddos are in bed, the house is quiet, after this I think I will crochet on Christmas gifts.  I cannot elaborate on the gifts as I want them to be surprises and my daughter now reads my blog.  Hi, Kirsten!  :)

Vacay day 8 - arrive home!

oops, I realized I totally forgot to blog about arriving home!  lol, so here goes.
9 am - up and getting going.  already had breakfast and loaded up and getting gas.
10 am - Hello Louisiana.  Pit stop at a Pilot.  Glenn found a cool Key chain with lots of little clips attached to it that he got for his keys.
12 pm - Lunch!  Stopped at Duck Dynasty.  The store was closed but we decided to stop and get some pics.  I was surprised at how many people were stopped to take pics even with the store closed. Then we went to Willie's Duck Diner.  That was neat and the food was good.  A guy from the show was walking around with a duck call and shook Chris's hand.  I loved the biscuits!  Glenn loved the banana pudding!
4 pm - TEXAS!  Felt so good to be back in our home state.  Stopped at the visitor's center for a pit stop.  That is a nice one!
5 pm - HOME!  Glenn and the kids got the trailer unloaded while I worked on school packets for the next week.  It was good to be home.
I'm sure I would've had more to say if I had done this sooner!  lol

Vacay Day 7 – Start HOME!

8:00a – Wake up, breakfast, load Silver, unhook trailer, dump trailer, send everyone to the restroom, lets get going!

9:30a – Goodbye state park, first movie playing on the Derr Mobile Theater, math paces are being worked on, I’m catching up on the vacay days on the blog.

11:00a – Goodbye FLORIDA!  L Let’s turn around, please!  lol  Oh no, traffic!!!  Thought we would never get off that bridge!  Pretty scenery though!

12:30p – another tunnel!  I really don’t like those!  However, I tolerated this one better, I didn’t freak!  lol  Pretty buildings!  I love columns!  and the trees!  There were beautiful trees too!  :) Lunch at Wendy’s.  Then we gave everyone their candy from the candy shop for dessert.

2:00p – Mississippi!  More driving, more movies, more math, crocheting on Honey’s blanket, a pit stop here and there, a new idea for a reward system for school next year!  Then finding a treasure at a gas station for the new reward system!  J

5:00p – make it to Jackson.  Find an RV park for the night.  WHEW, its HOT!!!  The RV is stifling!  Walked the babies to the playground while Honey hooks up.  I think I might be melting!

6:30p – resting in the rv with a vent blowing directly on me, trying to get cool enough to think about dinner!  Then a dinner of leftovers and Sandlot 2.  More crocheting on my stripey blanket.

9:30p – BEDTIME!!!

Vacay day 6 – Last Beach Day

We arrive at the beach.  Kayson decides he doesn’t want to play in the water so he spends the morning sitting in the shade of the umbrella, playing in the sand.  Keegan finally decides its ok to out a little farther in a floatie with the big kids.  This is the second day I have had my camera, not just my phone, out on the beach.  When I wasn’t using it to take pics, I had it in a Ziploc baggie to protect it.  I think I got some pretty neat pics, maybe I will have some time to look at them while we travel home.  Kirsten still wore a tshirt under her swimsuit, I didn’t.  We both had been to protect our shoulders bc we got burned the second day.  :-/  You could tell we were all tired, we had some not so great attitudes a few times that day but we still had a great day.  There were some storms around us, didn’t rain on us but the wind picked up pretty good!  The waves were stronger and our umbrella almost blew over, we had to lower it and our floats started to blow away.  One of the zebra floats got away and we couldn’t catch it and landed on the dunes.  Well, the dunes are roped off and you aren’t allowed on them, understandably so.  So, we are minus one $2 zebra float.  We could see it just sitting there stuck on the dune, everytime we walked passed someone would look for it and say hey there is our zebra float, I see it and everyone else would stop and look for it!  lol, I know, we’re weird!  J  Then it was lunchtime.  We brought a picnic lunch and ate it under the park pavilion.  We went back to the beach and all worked together to build a sand “castle” well, it really ended up being more of a sand “city” compete with a moat, volcano, tunnel and even the Dallas Cowboys stadium!  lol  That was fun.  I went to find some clams to decorate it with and felt something bigger when I dug my hand down a little, picked it up, realized their was legs attached to it, scared me and I tossed it and saw the crab scamper off really quick!!  lol  Then everyone got tired of building.  Kirsten went to read under the umbrella, I got back in the ocean with Keegan and Cayden.  Everyone was tired though and we soon left.  I almost cried!  We wanted to see a little more of Destin, we found a build your own frozen yogurt shop.  Mmmmm, that was good.  Then we found a local candy shop with some really cool candy you don’t find that often.  Everybody go to pick something for later.  Then we went “souvenir” shopping at Walmart.  I got a cool Destin magnet, Kirsten got a little jar with colored sand and little shells in it, Chris wanted a deck of cards and all the boys got Ninja Turtle masks!  We decided to splurge and eat out since it was our last night in Florida.  We found a restaurant that reminded us of Bennigan’s called Beef O’Brady’s.  It was good.  The boys enjoyed the baseball game that was on the big screen TVs that were everywhere!  J  Then it was back to the RV for some sleep!

Vacay day 5 – RAIN!

The clouds were so beautiful this am!  So fluffy!  We got out to the beach and got everything set up, were already playing in the water and I started noticing dark clouds out in the ocean and they came closer and closer and closer till they rained on us!  That was fun.  The ocean water was cooler and felt great, after the rain the sand was cool to walk on.  I saw three fish about a foot long swimming together and we saw lots of little bitty fishes everywhere.  It was neat to be out in the ocean during the rain.  Kayson and I played in the sand for a little bit.  Then we took the kids up to the park pavilion bc they were having a wildlife demonstration.  That was neat.  We saw an owl, so pretty and majestic.  They brought two baby opossoms.  They were so cute and tiny.  Then we had a little more beach time before heading back to the campsite for lunch.  We had jumbo black olives with lunch and the boys loved putting them on their fingers!  Then it was rest time.  Glenn and I laid down and the babies watched a movie.  Kirsten had me show her how to get my blog on her phone and she started reading it from the very beginning.  She would be like Mama you put that in the blog and I would be like yea, I wanted to remember it!  lol  We had baked (on the grill) potatos for dinner.  Mmmmmm……those were good!  Great flavor!  I crocheted some on my stripey blanket that evening.  I love watching yarn turn into something beautiful!

Vacay day 4 – more BEACH!

Have I mentioned I LOVE the BEACH?!?!?  lol  Same plan as yesterday, up, breakfast and find the beach!.  We saw a beautiful yellow classic car in Destin.  The plates said California, wow, that was a long drive!  J  When we made it out to the beach and chose our spot it was right by a big sea turtle someone had made out of sand.  That was neat!  Although, it wasn’t there by the time we left, Kayson has this thing for stepping on sand sculptures!  lol  His age???  We found more clams, they are fascinating creatures.  More waves, love standing out and just letting them hit me.  I would love a float for that but the babies usually confiscate those!  J  I put some sand and water and clams in my hand to see if they would dig and they did.  It tickled.  That was neat and I even got a neat video of it!  I am not normally a big fan of selfies but I have actually taken quite a few on this trip.  lol, sometimes its about the only way I get in a pic unless I specifically tell Honey he needs to take pics.  J  I love taking pics of the waves.  The ocean is so amazing.  God is so amazing to create something so very beautiful for us to enjoy!  I love our beach umbrella, it has such vibrant colors!  A lot of people have one exactly like ours though.  lol, guess they shop at Sams too.  At lunch we introduced our babies to the movie Sandlot.  They loved it!  Before dinner we took the boys to the playground for a little bit.  Then dinner, then bed.  J