Kayson Strong as an Eagle ~ Poem

9-28-18

Kayson
Adorable
Young
Sunshine
Outstanding
Neurologist

Specialists
Tron helmet
Restless
Optimistic
Nurses
Gifts

Alive
Strong

Angiograms
Newspaper

Eight
Answers
Gofundme
Loving
Eagle

STROKE

9-27-18

S - scary, savage, speechless, surgery, surreal, sterile, sudden, seperation, stress, stitches, siblings, strong, signatures, support, syringes

T - torture, taking, tubes, timing, tearful, terrifying, trains, tension

R - rehab, ripping, relearning, restraints, restrictions, recovery, restless, relief, rare

O - overwhelming, oxygen, ot

K - kindness, knots, kits, knowledge, kayson

E - er, eeg, exhausting, eagle, explanations

9-14-18

by Kirsten Elizabeth

Anger anger anger
Anger clouds my eyes
Angry at God
Angry at me
Red vision
All I can see
How do I break free
From this emptiness in me
God I'm trying to trust
Trying to believe
Everything keeps blowing up
Something happens
Keeps happening
Where has my childhood gone
Where is my faith
My trust
In people
Twisting turning
Twisting turning
Turning twisting
Turning twisting
I CANT SEE

help help
Help help
Help help
Help me please

Anger anger
In my mind
Anger anger
In my heart

God please
hear me cry
Help me replace this anger
With peace
With love
With trust
And with wisdom

9-20-18

Just sitting here, thinking what to type.  Kalani is watching a Baby Einstein video about water, those videos are so peaceful.  Hey, maybe I should turn one on everytime the boys are fighting, then at least I might feel some of the peace from it.  lol.  She has already played outside, slid down the slide, picked up cats, got red faced, ran all over so we came in to cool off with a bottle of milk, a/c and a movie, lol.  After I finish typing, I'll make us some lunch before we have to go get Kayson from school and take him to PT.  He usually does PT on wednesdays but he had an eye appt instead so we had to move it.  Thankfully his eyes are good and healthy, although she did say he has some trouble focusing, his eyes don't come together as they should for closer things.  For right now it s something to watch, he could outgrow it, or he could end up needing glasses.  However, Chris had an appt too and he is near-sighted like his mama and is getting glasses.  I'm thankful though that I don't have to wear mine all the time, mostly if I'm feeling eye strain or super tired.  It has been a busy week and I have to get ready for a bday party on Saturday.  Kayson is so excited!  I just watch him sometimes, in awe, of how far he has come, all he's been through, that he is still with us!  That's on my mind so much, how close we came to losing him, how very close.  Y'all the other day he did a somersault, I about freaked but he did it so fast!  He scared us all, lol, but he's perfectly fine!  I don't even know if its ok for him to somersault.  We were talking about Kalani learning to roll in dance and how she's been "practicing" but won't do it in class and he just did it!  The other day, earlier this week, he went running out the door to greet his daddy who had just got home and just jumped right off the porch over the steps just like it was nothing and something he's been doing forever.  It's really super amazing!  Of course, I think all my sunshines are super amazing!  Kirsten just shines a light everywhere she goes, I love watching the young lady she is becoming.  Chris is running on varsity this year, how did that even happen, he has worked so hard!  His teachers love him!  He even got a brag note in the mail the other day from a teacher!  I love how these teachers work so hard to make each child feel special and wanted and loved.  I wouldn't choose any other district.  Cayden has came home with two "Cool Cat" compliments in his planner.  Keegan has gotten two notes in his planner bragging on him!  The older four are working so hard for the Madagascar musical they are in next month.  They are really enjoying this opportunity, I'm excited to see it!  Although, apparently Cayden fell off the stage in rehearsal the day!  He's fine!  Everyone has laughed about it.  At least it wasn't a ten ft cliff like Chris I guess!  LOL!  Well, I need to put another Baby Einstein in and make us some lunch so I think this is all the ramblings you get today!  LOL.

Kayson Strong as an Eagle ~ Big news!

Thursday 9-13-18

And we find ourselves with another trip into Dallas!  This one on a school day and guess what?  Kalani did not sleep well, so its another tired trip in!  Why does lack of sleep always seem to accompany Dallas trips for one reason or another?!?  lol  We are up early to see the older 4 off to school and Daddy is off this week so he is keeping Kalani for the day.  She got upset when we left though, she kept saying, "go, go" lol  Oh how I hate the Dallas traffic.  It scares me and I'm so nervous about when I have to drive in bc Glenn's not planning on coming to every appointment soon. The appointments so far have been pretty significant and ones He didn't want to miss but we think soon the appointments will pretty much be just be follow ups to check on baby boy's progress and not so crucial for Glenn to come so he can stay home to work.  We have been very blessed and are very thankful that he has been able to get off for everything so far!  We made it to the hospital and to X-rays, they took his collar off this time for X-rays and had him move his head up and down.  Then we went up to his neurosurg appt.  Doc said X-rays are all the same and thats what we want and that Kayson could remove his collar!  permanently!  OH MY!  Did you read that?!?  Y'all this is BIG!  Baby boy got to take his collar off and doesn't have to put it back on!!!  Hey, he actually still has a neck!  I almost forgot what it looked like!  Now we have some time to kill before appt 2.  That of course means a stop at the trains, I can't stop looking at baby boy, he looks so big without the collar!  Then a trip into the gift shop and a water basketball game for celebration.  He has been wanting one of those water game things for a while now.  So of course it had to be opened and filled with water and then in the hallway we saw his neurologist!  He was so excited for Kayson having no collar.  I told him I keep wanting to rub Kayson's neck and he said, "Don't be weird, mom!" LOL  He's a great doc!  We also thanked him for referring Kayson to make-a-wish and told him we just found out that Kayson qualifies for a wish!  Later on in the car, Glenn and I were talking about the wish and Kayson was on his iPad so we didn't know he was listening  and I jokingly told Glenn that Kayson has wished to see a polar bear, bc you know, SNOW!  LOL and Kayson says, "When, mama, when did I wish for that?!?"  LOL  oops, I got caught!  Walking out of the hospital we noticed a smiley sticker on the floor and baby boy found a dime. Also, I cried, I'm really not sure why, so many emotions all wrapped up in the collar removal I guess. We found a Cicis for lunch, then onto the second appt with psychiatry.  No changes there, everyone is satisfied that the intuniv is helping and working.  Both docs want follow ups in dec so unless something changes, we only have one dallas appt in oct, that's a first since the stroke!  and NO appts in Nov!!!  That's just an amazing feeling!  Weird too though and a bit scary if that makes any sense.  Then we made is home and daddy had cleaned for us and done laundry all while watching Kalani!  So touched!  and thankful!

crazy friday

So the day starts way to early, I am so not a morning person!  However, I do enjoy my time with Kayson waiting on the bus.  Just sitting and listening to him and his logic.  This day we took Kalani with us bc Glenn went up to the school to be a PTA dad greeter.  I think it is soooooo neat that they are getting dads involved and that dads are being involved!  She was still so tired.  When Glenn got home he said he was greeting the kids getting off the buses so he got to see Kayson arrive at school and got a video and he saw him in class before leaving the school.  So neat!  Then Kalani and I got ready and left to spend the morning running around with my sister and her baby.  First we stopped in at Hope's Closet, a local resale shop whose precedes go to help abused women and children.  So Kalani is sitting in the buggie, honestly, she's not used to that bc she's usually being carried or there's an older sibling to chase her and hold her hand but with them all in school, her life has to change some too, lol.  She was being real good, mostly, I mean she tried pulling some clothes off their hangers, threw her pacifier on the floor a few times, tried escaping the buggie too, lol, but those are expected things and I can deal with them, she wasn't screaming or upset or anything.  I usually talk to my little bitties so I was just telling her things like, mama's shopping, sorry older sibs aren't here to chase you but your going to sit, ewww don't throw that in the floor but I wasn't upset either, just talking.  All of the sudden this lady taps my shoulder, I knew she was there but she was looking at the other rack and not paying attention to us, she kinda scared me and then I realize she has a tootsie pop in Kalani's reach, who grabs it, opens it, throws the wrapper down (I picked it up) and pops it in her mouth before I can fully process what's happening!  This lady then says, "I carry these with me for the children, to help the mamas when they are shopping"  WHAT?!?  Lady, you are totally creepy, my child did not need sweets or stickies or candy from a stranger, this is NOT helping me at all and now if i take it, I'll have a screaming baby that was perfectly fine before and happy for the most part!  Not to mention, suckers are a choking hazard!  Not only that bc she slobbered stickiness everywhere, I had to practically give baby girl a wipie bath (with borrowed ones btw bc of course ours were MIA!) and change her clothes when I got to the car and it was HOT!!!!!  NOT helpful, lady!  just creepy!  Why would anyone do that?  Let's just NOT!  UGH!  Then we grabbed some lunch at McDonalds and while I was ordering, Kalani was standing right behind, she had her hand on my leg and I could feel her but as I was about to pay I realized she had let go so I turn and don't see her right away, like seconds, people!  The guy behind points and she was climbing up on a chair!  This girl!  so I grabbed her up and continued to pay, feeling most embarrassed!  Then this McDonalds only had two baby seats and one had been grabbed up by the mom that walked in seconds ahead of us, lol.  My sis was going to just hold her baby girl bc I was nervous about mine running off again but then we sat where there was a booth up next to a wall so I could sit Kalani on it next to me and she couldn't easily escape and my niece could use the baby seat, so it worked out.  After lunch we ran by Target, I picked Kalani out an outfit for her mommy and me movement class she is starting, closest thing to a dance class we can get this young, she just dances all the time!  Then Dollar Tree bc it was right there and I almost had a major panic attack right there in the store bc they have their halloween stuff out and that included rather large s-bugs that I am so very terrified off, like I had to completely avoid the whole front area of the store, honestly had I not been with my sis, I probably would've left!  It's bad!  After that, we parted ways and I headed to park day, however as I got within like 5 min of the park it started pouring rain!  Seriously?  lol.  It was a short lived shower so we still got out to visit with the other mamas and since it hadn't rain much, I didn't realize just how wet it would be!  This resulted in a second wardrobe change of the day before we left the park bc I was not putting her in her carseat like that!  But it was enjoyable to visit with my mama friends and Kalani had a good time running around the park.  On the way home, though, I realize that I didn't grab her bow and she didn't have it on still when I changed her and it was one of my favs!  I almost cried!  It was possibly about to rain and I was barely ahead of the first bus so I really didn't have time to go back and look, I was so sad!  Right as we got home, Glenn was leaving for work and I told him about the bow and the park is on his way so he stopped and looked and found the bow!  Whew!  I was soooooooo happy!  :)  big kids got home, kirsten was holding Kalani up front in her lap while waiting for bus 2 and opened her mail, a college had sent her this big poster picture of their campus and Kalani really liked that and talked and pointed, it was so cute.  Two boys went ahead and walked up the hill to home bc they didn't want to wait and it wasn't raining.  Then Kayson made it home, he had a good day.  :) Then we drove up the hill to home, had snacks, everyone competed to tell me about their days, devices were played on, ready player one watched again (this seems to be becoming a daily phenomena), Kayson left to spend the night with Papaw, dinner was ate, Greatest Showman watched at the teen girl's request and we were all exhausted!!!  That was our crazy friday!  LOL

First day of school 2018

Wed 8-22-18

I am so NOT a morning person!  But I managed to get up, I have managed to continue getting up too!, made cinnamon toast for breakfast, got meds and vitamins given, pics taken and everyone out the door.  First stop the High school to drop the teens.  They get out, give me kisses and pause to let me take another pic.  The teacher that was greeting said, "Ya'll make your mama so happy!"  :)  Then to the Jr High.  Oh my word, that is a crazy crazy line!  5 rows of cars trying to bleed into one line and the guy kept skipping our row and we had two other schools to get to after this one.  Took 30 min to get this child dropped off!  but thats how the first days go and there are a lot of kids at the Jr. High and at least the others won't get in trouble for being late and everyone is understanding and this is about the only day we deal with drop off bc they ride the bus the rest of the time but gotta have those first day pics for FB.  Ok, FB aside, yes the pics get posted, but I would want the pics anyways, I take pic of everything!  :)  Cayden asked for peppermint for his tummy while we were waiting bc he was nervous.  :( Its hard to leave them when they are nervous!  :(  Then we made it to the front of the line and Cayden got out, kissed me goodbye and someone was there taking first day pics and told him to kiss me again to get a pic of it!  Wish I had thought to ask if that pic would show up somewhere or how I could get a copy!  Oh well, just kinda neat it got taken.  :)  then he paused on the way in to let me get a pic.  Then on to I-4!  We walked him in!  Oh, he looked sooooooo nervous, almost like he was about to throw up and he was pale.  It was his first first day.  And he was so quiet.  He put his bag in his locker, I got a pic and got a pic of sitting at a desk.  His teacher assured me he would be just fine and she even called me that afternoon and let me know he was doing great and participating and no problems!  That really touched my heart!  I cried leaving him!  And we still had another one to drop off!  North Elementary!  LATE!  and we had to stop and buy him water bc we forgot his in the fridge at home!  but it was not a problem that he was late, I'm so glad everyone is so kind and understanding!  He was soooooooo excited!  He was bouncing down the hallway!  I took a selfie!  We got him to his class, he went straight to his desk and started working with the pattern blocks that were out.  I got his pic and kisses and left, or tried to leave, lol, I had to stop at the door and look back!  I cried down the hallway!  That was so hard!  Trust, I have to trust God, I have to!  Kalani was just walking down the hallway like she owned the place.  She makes everyone smile!  :)  You know, there were several people in line at the office to register their kids, I could understand a few, I'm sure people move at the last minute, have emergencies and just get back but this was a lot of people!  How could you do that to your kid, on purpose?  Wouldn't you want to have it done and meet their teacher ahead of time and not have them miss so much of their first day?  I just don't get it!  and again, I'm not talking about extenuating circumstances, we have those at times in different situations and kids adjust just fine and have a great ability for understanding and adapting but to just not register until the last possible moment just bc you just don't, smh.  Anyways, it was just kind of a shock to me to see so many and I felt sorry for the staffs having to deal with it all but they were all still super smily and helpful.  :)  Then we dropped Glenn at home so he could sleep before work and Kalani and I went to my sis's house for a cousin playdate.  The girls are so precious, they played, we talked, had lunch and then we came home for a nap before meeting the buses.  When we walked in the house Kalani started yelling for Keegan and looking for everyone!  we got a nap and then went down to get everyone off the buses.  We have two coming to our house this year bc Kayson is on the special bus.  Kalani was soooooo excited to see everyone, as was I!  Everyone had great days and stories to tell and papers to be signed.  A few days later Kayson said, "Mama, when everyone is trying to talk to you at the same time, we need to do what I do at school, we all need to raise our hands!"  lol, It hasn't caught on yet!  And the 2018/19 school year has commenced!