Thursday 8-2-18
We had a rough night with the babies, Kalani was a bit fussy on and off, don't know why, Kayson wasn't sleeping as well as usual and at one point was almost hanging of the edge of the bed. Glenn ended up in bed with him. We all ended up oversleeping a bit and had to rush a bit to get out of the hotel and get breakfast but we made it. We had a good breakfast, baby girl ate her eggs with a fork as long as I put each bite on for her. :) Baby boy's first appt was with psychiatry. They say he is presenting as ADHD and want to start him on meds, a low dose, non stimulant, they won't consider stimulant meds without talking to his neurologist, I don't know that I would want those anyways. Apparently they try the meds and observe him and get others observations (like teachers) before actually making an official diagnoses. I didn't realize it took so much to actually get a diagnoses, I mean I think its good so there isn't a wrong diagnoses but I just thought we would actually have answers before meds. Y'all I'm so resistant to meds anyways, I had promised myself when I became a parent I wouldn't let an ADHD diagnoses happen and I would fight tooth and nail against any ADHD meds and here I am, just letting it all happen. Our life has just been turned so completely upside down, I'm so thankful for baby boy's life, so thankful! Sometimes I feel almost like he isn't really mine anymore, like I have no say and no control, there it is, y'all, I like my control! lol, but it's hard, so hard to have it all just ripped from your hands, when your standing in a hospital room, signing consent after consent after consent, looking at your child just laying there, not knowing if he'll even live, and your silently begging the docs just keep him alive, just keep him alive, I'll sign anything, I would give you my house, my car, my blood and organs, just keep him alive and your praying oh Lord don't take him from us, please let him come back to us, no control. So, now he's been on crazy meds, meds I never heard of, meds to wean of the meds that weaned him off the other meds, whats a little ADHD med now anyway? right? Its a crazy place to be, for sure. But he's alive! He's here! He's still loving and silly and happy and walking and talking and going to start "real school" as my babies call it. lol. Ok, so back to the appt. They were super nice, they even put us in a family room so baby girl wasn't running all over the place while we waited and talked to docs and filled out papers. After this appt though, I felt like my brain was fried and couldn't hold anymore info but we still have another appt after lunch and we know it'll be a lot of info too. Oh my! Between appts we met a lady from Ragan's Hope to pick up some school supply kits they had for the babies. That was so nice and so helpful and the babies were so excited, even the teens, I love how excited my babies get over things like school supplies. :) Then we had lunch at Paradise Bakery, neat place. Baby girl is starting to refuse her bottle during the day and she opened her sandwich by herself. Lunch came with cookies too. Then onto appt at neuropsychologist to hear the results of his testing. So much info! just wow! Some info about how the brain works and why we are seeing some of the behaviors and that he's fatigued easier bc his brain has to rewire and relearn, stuff that actually would've been helpful to know when leaving the hospital. He is testing as a "specific learning disability" (dyslexia?) but doc is holding off on a diagnoses till he sees how Kayson does on the new meds and with specific learning helps at school. He says Kayson will need and IEP, I don't know if I can do this. He gave us a full report for Kayson's docs, for the school and for us. Again with the waiting for specific answers, I am glad they want to be thorough and get it right, I'm not complaining, really, I just didn't realize we wouldn't have concrete answers before school. sigh. I just want baby boy to be able to learn the basic skills he needs. And then theres baby girl, baby girl who got out the blue bags for dirty diapers (we also use them for dirty clothes) and opened them and spread them ALL over the floor and laid down on top of them and started waving her arms and legs and the doc chuckled and said, "she's swimming!" *face palm emoji* #whoschildisthis??? #leastshewasntscreaming!!! Now that we are emotionally exhausted and have way to much info in our brains that we have to process, we can head home but not crash bc the evening is full too! Got back to longview and dropped Glenn and Kalani off at the Mission Longview dinner for Cayden. Then ran Kayson by Brookshires to pick up a Bobcat shirt, then to the stadium where they were taking a class of 2030 group photo! Saw a friendly face and was so glad bc I felt so alone and out of place! Then took baby boy to dinner at subway and then went to pick up Glenn and two babies and then finally HOME! Everyone was so excited about the supplies and wanted to see them right away but first Chris had got home from cross country camp today while we were gone and informs his mother that the way he hurt his foot (we had been called about him hurting his foot but it was downplayed for my sanity) was falling, yes F.A.L.L.I.N.G!!!!!! ofF a 10 ft cliff!!!!!!!! Did you catch that?!?!? TEN FOOT CLIFF!!!!!! CHRISTIAN DAVID DERR!!!! WHAT?!?!?!? Yes, I was yelling! WHAT WERE YOU THINKING? I HAVE TAUGHT YOU BETTER! YOU KNOW BETTER! I TRUSTED YOU! LOL! *all of this was in good spirits though, like my child is standing in front of me talking to me and I can see is just fine and I'm super thankful that he is alright but seriously a 10 ft cliff!!!! CHRISTIAN DAVID DERR, WHAT IN THE WORLD WERE YOU THINKING?!?!? Ok, so the story goes, the boys were jumping off the cliff into the lake and Chris went to jump too, got to the edge and hestitated but couldn't fully stop! We are super thankful he is alright! and he ran in his time trials just a few days after and still came in eighth! had to ice his foot after and he still has a knot on his knee and needs a new swimsuit bc the swimsuit tore and died. CHRISTIAN DAVID, WHAT WERE YOU THINKING????? Sorry had to get one last yell in there. LOL. Then we all looked at what supplies they got. They each got a drawstring bag, which they love and is super great for Cayden bc he can't carry his backpack to class at the Jr. High and only a drawstring bag. We got out Cayden's list and marked off what he got and then Kirsten wanted to go to Walmart and get the rest so her and I made a late night trip and picked up the rest of what Cayden needed and also got generic supplies (composition books, 5 subject spirals, hand sanitizers, kleenexes, sticky notepads, etc.) that are always needed by the teens but so hard to find by the time they get their lists after school starts. I did that last year too and it helped sooo much! Kirsten and I enjoyed our time and then we got home and I crashed! lol Wow, that was a long one, did you make it all the way to the end? :)
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