8-20-18 Monday
Oh how I have been so close to tears ALL day! I cannot believe they will all be in school ('cept the baby) and Derr ISD is closing! I have soooooo loved homeschooling my babies! Watching their eyes light up with knowledge and knowing I helped that happen. I thought I had more time with the younger boys home with me. Oh how life can throw major curves! So we all relaxed some in the morn and then got ready for a busy busy afternoon and evening. We all loaded up and I dropped Kayson at his therapies and Kirsten stayed to take advantage of the quiet waiting room and work on her summer work. She is so not ready for school to start again. Its really hitting her that it is her senior year! Us too! How did that happen? How did we get so old? lol Then I ran by a friend's house bc she had a lunchbox to give away, a groot one. I don't keep a lot of lunchboxes bc the kids get lunch at school but there are a few days they need to take a lunch, like test days and since they all love groot, I thought well it might be nice to have something for them to take a lunch those days. While I was there she also gave us three Power Ranger back packs. The three younger boys were so excited! Even though they already had others, two decided to use these for the first day! Kayson has been switching his backpacks everyday, power ranger, ninjago, power ranger, ninjago, power ranger and so on and so forth, lol! I just love to see their smiles! Then we picked up Kirsten (she got some work done! yay!) and Kayson and headed to the elementary school for the first meet the teacher of the night. I'm so thankful they staggered the start times of tonight at each campus by an hour, I think tonight might actually be do-able since we have three campuses to get to! The teens won't have meet the teacher till after school starts and that makes tonight more doable too! It's sooooooo HOT! *melting emoji* *why don't they have one yet?* We get to Kayson's school and find a place to park, wow, there are a lot of people here! There's a line to get in the door and we are even a bit early. All this new, I'm not so great with new and so many people. breath, just breath.......... Meet his teacher and her aide, he is in the inclusion class. They are soooooo sweet. His teacher was patient and listened to all I felt she needed to know, we had paperwork to fill out, Kayson got a smores snack thing from the teachers, it said something like we can't wait to know you smore, lol, super cute! There were kids all over that classroom, sitting in the teacher's chair, laying on the rug, running from her brothers, I mean seriously where are their parents?!? OH, WAIT! those are MY kids! *facepalm* LOL They really were being pretty good, not really causing any issues but they were distracting me from getting the paperwork done bc I was trying to make sure they didn't destroy anything and Kalani was all over and at one point I did have to tell Keegan to get up off the rug bc he was laying in the middle of the floor! We left by playground so Kayson could see it and we could talk to him about how to stay safe during recess. I had trouble getting out of there, cars were everywhere and just getting there and also others trying to leave, crazy crazy. But someone let me out eventually and we were on to the next school. Intermediate 4. Have I mentioned its sooooooo crazy HOT!!?!! Now to meet Keegan's teacher. She is soooo sweet! She took his pic for her board, we found his locker, checked out the library, he is way excited about that! Cayden showed him the cafeteria too. Then onto the Jr High! It is still so so so very HOT!!!!!!! The Jr High was super crazy! I heard they have 440 sixth graders and had to redo several schedules bc they had to hire like 30 new teachers and don't even have enough lockers for everyone, and this is the old high school! We looked for Cayden's first period bc we were supposed to go there to get his schedule and then go to his other classes. But the little gym it told us to go to was locked, there were other parents there trying to get schedules too, we didn't know what to do and we were waiting outside and it was so hot, I was pretty close to tears again, like I said I had been all day and I don't handle the heat well and this was just horrible. I know it's crazy and it's a lot of kids but I wish someone had thought ahead and put a sign up or something telling us where we were actually supposed to be. Glenn tried to walk to the front to get info but it was so crazy up there, he wasn't even able to talk to anyone in the know, finally before he got back to us someone happened to see us all standing there and said it was actually the big gym we were supposed to be at! Did I mention how hot it was?? Seriously, I felt like I could faint! I never have from the heat but I sure feel like I can't even think or function when I get that hot. I watch other people still fine even though its hot and I'm like I don't know if I can even walk to the cooler inside. Anyways, I called Glenn and told him, he was relieved since he wasn't getting any closer to finding anything out and we make it to where we are supposed to be and we get his schedule and locker assignment, he did get a locker, which we found and he put his supplies in that he hadn't dropped off in his classes and put his lock on it! (This is significant bc then the night before the first day, the boy asks, "Mama, what did you do with my extra key?" Now you have to understand, this boy insisted on getting lock key *A YEAR AGO*!!!!! when he first started 6th but then we moved him back to 5th, I haven't thought of this key in a year!!! WHAT?!?! Is my kid going to be the kid who has to get his lock cut off the FIRST day????!!!???? Seriously?!?!? Who does that?????? MY kid! apparently! *facepalm* Not only that, he waits till bedtime to ask! So we send him to bed, thinking thinking so hard, Glenn looks on my keyring and sees a key that look likes a lock key, I don't have a lock, this must be the right one, I hope its the right one! Glenn takes it off my ring, finds an empty ring in the key box hanging by the door, affectionately called "The Birds" bc it has a pic of birds on it and puts the key on the empty ring and we hope for the best! Turns out it was indeed the right key and we were all so thankful!) We dropped his first period supplies in the gym, left Kirsten sitting with Keegan and Kayson bc they were so tired and hot and it was just so crowded everywhere and went to find the rest of his classes. We got all his teachers met, supplies dropped off in the correct classes, he has all diff teachers from last year except one. I was so hoping he would get more of the same teachers, they were so caring and helpful but these teachers seem just as great too, honestly. We saw other peoples we know and we were finally done. HOT, TIRED, EXHAUSTED and OVERWHELMED but done! We did it! We made it to each school, met all the teachers and we survived! LOL I did cry all the way home though but Glenn went and got pizza and brought it home, we were in two diff vehicles bc he had worked during the day and met us at the first school. I want to give a shoutout to our teens here bc they loaned us the money for the pizza bc that wasn't in the plans. I am so thankful for their willingness to help us out and they have such kind hearts and are so understanding. They were paid back at payday which was just a few days away. And we came home and crashed! Had dinner, it was really good and we were all so hungry and then we sent everyone to bed! Whew!
Wednesday, August 29, 2018
Monday, August 27, 2018
Kayson Strong as an Eagle ~ Surgery follow up
Thurs 8-16-18
This time is a day trip. Oh but it was soooo hard to leave. Baby girl was running a temp and not feeling well at all so a friend of Kirsten's so kindly came over to sit with her. Oh, she cried when we left! Victoria turned on Pink Fong, Baby Shark for her, oh how I hate that song! but baby girl absolutely LOVES it!!! If you turn it on in the other room, she will hear it and come running! Then we dropped the four olders at Marmie's so she could run them shoe shopping in the am and get them to their Madagascar practice in the afternoon. Ok, y'all we are like a super weird family or something, so I walk the olders in while Glenn waits with Kayson in Silver and Mama is asking about baby girl and we tell her how she cried but was watching Baby Shark and Mama was like what?!? so what do we do? All of us, including me and even the teens! We break out in the baby shark song complete with motions! *insert facepalm emoji* LOL Then we ran through McDonalds for some breakfast, the lady was kinda rude, got our order wrong, Glenn had to run in to get it fixed but he came out with an OJ he didn't originally order and decided he wanted, LOL. *insert another facepalm emoji* Then of course was our Bucees stop. Kayson bought another gun! This one shoots little soft foam balls! I think this is becoming a problem! LOL! We also picked up a round stuffed Bucee for baby girl. Still having a hard time with having to leave her not feeling well! Then the traffic, I HATE Dallas! We almost got hit! Lord, please place angels of protection around us and our vehicle! Then we make it to the hosp and Glenn is dropping us off before parking bc we are running a tad late bc of the traffic and all the sudden I remember we were supposed to arrive early for an X-ray!!!!!! OH NO! I completely forgot! I knew I would forget something sometime my brain has been so scattered! We get all checked in, the front desk doesn't know if there is an order for an X-ray, I almost put the security sticker on upside down *what is it with these facepalm emojis this blog*, stopped by radiology, they confirmed the X-ray order but we needed to check in upstairs at the doc first since we were late. Finally make it upstairs and couldn't get in the door!!!! It felt locked. What is it with today?!? Other docs come by and door opens for them! They had maintenance come by and he said its the airflow restricting the door from opening when the ac is on, so I'm not completely crazy! But now I just feel like crying and I'm having panic attacks! Anyways, we get all checked in, get the X-ray done, it looks great! Kayson gave me one of his X-ray stickers to put in my book of notes. Got a note for school restrictions, this whole school thing is getting too real! How do I let go?!? Another appt in three weeks to discuss removing the collar. I know thats what we want, thats why we did the surgery but seriously, it terrifies me!!! Everything terrifies me with this child now! Why, why can't I just put him in a bubble?!? Anyone have a bubble I can have??? Baby boy wants Chick-Fil-A for lunch, find one in Dallas but theres NO inside seating! What?!? This is CFA! Its supposed to have inside seats and a playground! Who builds one without these things?!? What is it with you Dallas??? LOL So we decide to get out of the big city and then find one. Lunch, I napped, then HOME! Baby girl had a good day and is feeling better and liked her Bucee! The kids were excited to show off their new shoes! I'm so thankful for help with these kinds of things, it may not seem like much but it is! Its so nice for them to feel good about their name brand sneakers, walmart sneakers would do but sometimes its just so nice to have the better quality items. I'm thankful for those that care for us and help my kiddos have just a little confidence boost. Then my sis picked up Cayden and Keegan and took them to the community pep rally (Chris was already there with XC). We are all exhausted and it almost hurts to think, like seriously MY brain feels fractured! But the day worked out and everyone got where they needed to be and we are blessed!
This time is a day trip. Oh but it was soooo hard to leave. Baby girl was running a temp and not feeling well at all so a friend of Kirsten's so kindly came over to sit with her. Oh, she cried when we left! Victoria turned on Pink Fong, Baby Shark for her, oh how I hate that song! but baby girl absolutely LOVES it!!! If you turn it on in the other room, she will hear it and come running! Then we dropped the four olders at Marmie's so she could run them shoe shopping in the am and get them to their Madagascar practice in the afternoon. Ok, y'all we are like a super weird family or something, so I walk the olders in while Glenn waits with Kayson in Silver and Mama is asking about baby girl and we tell her how she cried but was watching Baby Shark and Mama was like what?!? so what do we do? All of us, including me and even the teens! We break out in the baby shark song complete with motions! *insert facepalm emoji* LOL Then we ran through McDonalds for some breakfast, the lady was kinda rude, got our order wrong, Glenn had to run in to get it fixed but he came out with an OJ he didn't originally order and decided he wanted, LOL. *insert another facepalm emoji* Then of course was our Bucees stop. Kayson bought another gun! This one shoots little soft foam balls! I think this is becoming a problem! LOL! We also picked up a round stuffed Bucee for baby girl. Still having a hard time with having to leave her not feeling well! Then the traffic, I HATE Dallas! We almost got hit! Lord, please place angels of protection around us and our vehicle! Then we make it to the hosp and Glenn is dropping us off before parking bc we are running a tad late bc of the traffic and all the sudden I remember we were supposed to arrive early for an X-ray!!!!!! OH NO! I completely forgot! I knew I would forget something sometime my brain has been so scattered! We get all checked in, the front desk doesn't know if there is an order for an X-ray, I almost put the security sticker on upside down *what is it with these facepalm emojis this blog*, stopped by radiology, they confirmed the X-ray order but we needed to check in upstairs at the doc first since we were late. Finally make it upstairs and couldn't get in the door!!!! It felt locked. What is it with today?!? Other docs come by and door opens for them! They had maintenance come by and he said its the airflow restricting the door from opening when the ac is on, so I'm not completely crazy! But now I just feel like crying and I'm having panic attacks! Anyways, we get all checked in, get the X-ray done, it looks great! Kayson gave me one of his X-ray stickers to put in my book of notes. Got a note for school restrictions, this whole school thing is getting too real! How do I let go?!? Another appt in three weeks to discuss removing the collar. I know thats what we want, thats why we did the surgery but seriously, it terrifies me!!! Everything terrifies me with this child now! Why, why can't I just put him in a bubble?!? Anyone have a bubble I can have??? Baby boy wants Chick-Fil-A for lunch, find one in Dallas but theres NO inside seating! What?!? This is CFA! Its supposed to have inside seats and a playground! Who builds one without these things?!? What is it with you Dallas??? LOL So we decide to get out of the big city and then find one. Lunch, I napped, then HOME! Baby girl had a good day and is feeling better and liked her Bucee! The kids were excited to show off their new shoes! I'm so thankful for help with these kinds of things, it may not seem like much but it is! Its so nice for them to feel good about their name brand sneakers, walmart sneakers would do but sometimes its just so nice to have the better quality items. I'm thankful for those that care for us and help my kiddos have just a little confidence boost. Then my sis picked up Cayden and Keegan and took them to the community pep rally (Chris was already there with XC). We are all exhausted and it almost hurts to think, like seriously MY brain feels fractured! But the day worked out and everyone got where they needed to be and we are blessed!
Thursday, August 16, 2018
Kayson Strong as an Eagle ~ more dallas appts part 2
Thursday 8-2-18
We had a rough night with the babies, Kalani was a bit fussy on and off, don't know why, Kayson wasn't sleeping as well as usual and at one point was almost hanging of the edge of the bed. Glenn ended up in bed with him. We all ended up oversleeping a bit and had to rush a bit to get out of the hotel and get breakfast but we made it. We had a good breakfast, baby girl ate her eggs with a fork as long as I put each bite on for her. :) Baby boy's first appt was with psychiatry. They say he is presenting as ADHD and want to start him on meds, a low dose, non stimulant, they won't consider stimulant meds without talking to his neurologist, I don't know that I would want those anyways. Apparently they try the meds and observe him and get others observations (like teachers) before actually making an official diagnoses. I didn't realize it took so much to actually get a diagnoses, I mean I think its good so there isn't a wrong diagnoses but I just thought we would actually have answers before meds. Y'all I'm so resistant to meds anyways, I had promised myself when I became a parent I wouldn't let an ADHD diagnoses happen and I would fight tooth and nail against any ADHD meds and here I am, just letting it all happen. Our life has just been turned so completely upside down, I'm so thankful for baby boy's life, so thankful! Sometimes I feel almost like he isn't really mine anymore, like I have no say and no control, there it is, y'all, I like my control! lol, but it's hard, so hard to have it all just ripped from your hands, when your standing in a hospital room, signing consent after consent after consent, looking at your child just laying there, not knowing if he'll even live, and your silently begging the docs just keep him alive, just keep him alive, I'll sign anything, I would give you my house, my car, my blood and organs, just keep him alive and your praying oh Lord don't take him from us, please let him come back to us, no control. So, now he's been on crazy meds, meds I never heard of, meds to wean of the meds that weaned him off the other meds, whats a little ADHD med now anyway? right? Its a crazy place to be, for sure. But he's alive! He's here! He's still loving and silly and happy and walking and talking and going to start "real school" as my babies call it. lol. Ok, so back to the appt. They were super nice, they even put us in a family room so baby girl wasn't running all over the place while we waited and talked to docs and filled out papers. After this appt though, I felt like my brain was fried and couldn't hold anymore info but we still have another appt after lunch and we know it'll be a lot of info too. Oh my! Between appts we met a lady from Ragan's Hope to pick up some school supply kits they had for the babies. That was so nice and so helpful and the babies were so excited, even the teens, I love how excited my babies get over things like school supplies. :) Then we had lunch at Paradise Bakery, neat place. Baby girl is starting to refuse her bottle during the day and she opened her sandwich by herself. Lunch came with cookies too. Then onto appt at neuropsychologist to hear the results of his testing. So much info! just wow! Some info about how the brain works and why we are seeing some of the behaviors and that he's fatigued easier bc his brain has to rewire and relearn, stuff that actually would've been helpful to know when leaving the hospital. He is testing as a "specific learning disability" (dyslexia?) but doc is holding off on a diagnoses till he sees how Kayson does on the new meds and with specific learning helps at school. He says Kayson will need and IEP, I don't know if I can do this. He gave us a full report for Kayson's docs, for the school and for us. Again with the waiting for specific answers, I am glad they want to be thorough and get it right, I'm not complaining, really, I just didn't realize we wouldn't have concrete answers before school. sigh. I just want baby boy to be able to learn the basic skills he needs. And then theres baby girl, baby girl who got out the blue bags for dirty diapers (we also use them for dirty clothes) and opened them and spread them ALL over the floor and laid down on top of them and started waving her arms and legs and the doc chuckled and said, "she's swimming!" *face palm emoji* #whoschildisthis??? #leastshewasntscreaming!!! Now that we are emotionally exhausted and have way to much info in our brains that we have to process, we can head home but not crash bc the evening is full too! Got back to longview and dropped Glenn and Kalani off at the Mission Longview dinner for Cayden. Then ran Kayson by Brookshires to pick up a Bobcat shirt, then to the stadium where they were taking a class of 2030 group photo! Saw a friendly face and was so glad bc I felt so alone and out of place! Then took baby boy to dinner at subway and then went to pick up Glenn and two babies and then finally HOME! Everyone was so excited about the supplies and wanted to see them right away but first Chris had got home from cross country camp today while we were gone and informs his mother that the way he hurt his foot (we had been called about him hurting his foot but it was downplayed for my sanity) was falling, yes F.A.L.L.I.N.G!!!!!! ofF a 10 ft cliff!!!!!!!! Did you catch that?!?!? TEN FOOT CLIFF!!!!!! CHRISTIAN DAVID DERR!!!! WHAT?!?!?!? Yes, I was yelling! WHAT WERE YOU THINKING? I HAVE TAUGHT YOU BETTER! YOU KNOW BETTER! I TRUSTED YOU! LOL! *all of this was in good spirits though, like my child is standing in front of me talking to me and I can see is just fine and I'm super thankful that he is alright but seriously a 10 ft cliff!!!! CHRISTIAN DAVID DERR, WHAT IN THE WORLD WERE YOU THINKING?!?!? Ok, so the story goes, the boys were jumping off the cliff into the lake and Chris went to jump too, got to the edge and hestitated but couldn't fully stop! We are super thankful he is alright! and he ran in his time trials just a few days after and still came in eighth! had to ice his foot after and he still has a knot on his knee and needs a new swimsuit bc the swimsuit tore and died. CHRISTIAN DAVID, WHAT WERE YOU THINKING????? Sorry had to get one last yell in there. LOL. Then we all looked at what supplies they got. They each got a drawstring bag, which they love and is super great for Cayden bc he can't carry his backpack to class at the Jr. High and only a drawstring bag. We got out Cayden's list and marked off what he got and then Kirsten wanted to go to Walmart and get the rest so her and I made a late night trip and picked up the rest of what Cayden needed and also got generic supplies (composition books, 5 subject spirals, hand sanitizers, kleenexes, sticky notepads, etc.) that are always needed by the teens but so hard to find by the time they get their lists after school starts. I did that last year too and it helped sooo much! Kirsten and I enjoyed our time and then we got home and I crashed! lol Wow, that was a long one, did you make it all the way to the end? :)
We had a rough night with the babies, Kalani was a bit fussy on and off, don't know why, Kayson wasn't sleeping as well as usual and at one point was almost hanging of the edge of the bed. Glenn ended up in bed with him. We all ended up oversleeping a bit and had to rush a bit to get out of the hotel and get breakfast but we made it. We had a good breakfast, baby girl ate her eggs with a fork as long as I put each bite on for her. :) Baby boy's first appt was with psychiatry. They say he is presenting as ADHD and want to start him on meds, a low dose, non stimulant, they won't consider stimulant meds without talking to his neurologist, I don't know that I would want those anyways. Apparently they try the meds and observe him and get others observations (like teachers) before actually making an official diagnoses. I didn't realize it took so much to actually get a diagnoses, I mean I think its good so there isn't a wrong diagnoses but I just thought we would actually have answers before meds. Y'all I'm so resistant to meds anyways, I had promised myself when I became a parent I wouldn't let an ADHD diagnoses happen and I would fight tooth and nail against any ADHD meds and here I am, just letting it all happen. Our life has just been turned so completely upside down, I'm so thankful for baby boy's life, so thankful! Sometimes I feel almost like he isn't really mine anymore, like I have no say and no control, there it is, y'all, I like my control! lol, but it's hard, so hard to have it all just ripped from your hands, when your standing in a hospital room, signing consent after consent after consent, looking at your child just laying there, not knowing if he'll even live, and your silently begging the docs just keep him alive, just keep him alive, I'll sign anything, I would give you my house, my car, my blood and organs, just keep him alive and your praying oh Lord don't take him from us, please let him come back to us, no control. So, now he's been on crazy meds, meds I never heard of, meds to wean of the meds that weaned him off the other meds, whats a little ADHD med now anyway? right? Its a crazy place to be, for sure. But he's alive! He's here! He's still loving and silly and happy and walking and talking and going to start "real school" as my babies call it. lol. Ok, so back to the appt. They were super nice, they even put us in a family room so baby girl wasn't running all over the place while we waited and talked to docs and filled out papers. After this appt though, I felt like my brain was fried and couldn't hold anymore info but we still have another appt after lunch and we know it'll be a lot of info too. Oh my! Between appts we met a lady from Ragan's Hope to pick up some school supply kits they had for the babies. That was so nice and so helpful and the babies were so excited, even the teens, I love how excited my babies get over things like school supplies. :) Then we had lunch at Paradise Bakery, neat place. Baby girl is starting to refuse her bottle during the day and she opened her sandwich by herself. Lunch came with cookies too. Then onto appt at neuropsychologist to hear the results of his testing. So much info! just wow! Some info about how the brain works and why we are seeing some of the behaviors and that he's fatigued easier bc his brain has to rewire and relearn, stuff that actually would've been helpful to know when leaving the hospital. He is testing as a "specific learning disability" (dyslexia?) but doc is holding off on a diagnoses till he sees how Kayson does on the new meds and with specific learning helps at school. He says Kayson will need and IEP, I don't know if I can do this. He gave us a full report for Kayson's docs, for the school and for us. Again with the waiting for specific answers, I am glad they want to be thorough and get it right, I'm not complaining, really, I just didn't realize we wouldn't have concrete answers before school. sigh. I just want baby boy to be able to learn the basic skills he needs. And then theres baby girl, baby girl who got out the blue bags for dirty diapers (we also use them for dirty clothes) and opened them and spread them ALL over the floor and laid down on top of them and started waving her arms and legs and the doc chuckled and said, "she's swimming!" *face palm emoji* #whoschildisthis??? #leastshewasntscreaming!!! Now that we are emotionally exhausted and have way to much info in our brains that we have to process, we can head home but not crash bc the evening is full too! Got back to longview and dropped Glenn and Kalani off at the Mission Longview dinner for Cayden. Then ran Kayson by Brookshires to pick up a Bobcat shirt, then to the stadium where they were taking a class of 2030 group photo! Saw a friendly face and was so glad bc I felt so alone and out of place! Then took baby boy to dinner at subway and then went to pick up Glenn and two babies and then finally HOME! Everyone was so excited about the supplies and wanted to see them right away but first Chris had got home from cross country camp today while we were gone and informs his mother that the way he hurt his foot (we had been called about him hurting his foot but it was downplayed for my sanity) was falling, yes F.A.L.L.I.N.G!!!!!! ofF a 10 ft cliff!!!!!!!! Did you catch that?!?!? TEN FOOT CLIFF!!!!!! CHRISTIAN DAVID DERR!!!! WHAT?!?!?!? Yes, I was yelling! WHAT WERE YOU THINKING? I HAVE TAUGHT YOU BETTER! YOU KNOW BETTER! I TRUSTED YOU! LOL! *all of this was in good spirits though, like my child is standing in front of me talking to me and I can see is just fine and I'm super thankful that he is alright but seriously a 10 ft cliff!!!! CHRISTIAN DAVID DERR, WHAT IN THE WORLD WERE YOU THINKING?!?!? Ok, so the story goes, the boys were jumping off the cliff into the lake and Chris went to jump too, got to the edge and hestitated but couldn't fully stop! We are super thankful he is alright! and he ran in his time trials just a few days after and still came in eighth! had to ice his foot after and he still has a knot on his knee and needs a new swimsuit bc the swimsuit tore and died. CHRISTIAN DAVID, WHAT WERE YOU THINKING????? Sorry had to get one last yell in there. LOL. Then we all looked at what supplies they got. They each got a drawstring bag, which they love and is super great for Cayden bc he can't carry his backpack to class at the Jr. High and only a drawstring bag. We got out Cayden's list and marked off what he got and then Kirsten wanted to go to Walmart and get the rest so her and I made a late night trip and picked up the rest of what Cayden needed and also got generic supplies (composition books, 5 subject spirals, hand sanitizers, kleenexes, sticky notepads, etc.) that are always needed by the teens but so hard to find by the time they get their lists after school starts. I did that last year too and it helped sooo much! Kirsten and I enjoyed our time and then we got home and I crashed! lol Wow, that was a long one, did you make it all the way to the end? :)
Saturday, August 11, 2018
Kayson Strong as an Eagle ~ more Dallas appts part 1
Wed 8-1-18
The morning started early taking Cayden to Mission Longview. This is third year and he really enjoys it and I love that he's learning to care and help others. Then onto Kayson's therapies. When we got back out to Silver, there was a truck parked in the parking spot behind me but he was a long truck and not all the way in his spot and Silver is long and I had so much trouble getting out of there, I didn't know what I was going to do! I actually almost started crying. Somehow though I did manage to maneuver my way out, I was so thankful and then we headed home. These are the times I really dislike driving something so big, I never expected to drive a large vehicle but I manage. After lunch we headed out. Lunch was good, Glenn and I had our leftover ]\ (that was Kalani) pizza from date night, we tried the new pizza place, it was great. We dropped Kirsten and Keegan at Marmie's, Kayson (of course) and Kalani were going in with us. Chris was away at cross country camp. Marmie had just got back from a cruise and gave each child a keychain from Mexico. (Ummmmm.........You know, I think I still have Chris's and he doesn't even know about it, #greatestmommoment) She also gave Kalani an old remote and Kalani was trying to turn her TV on with it, lol. We said our goodbyes and got on our way to Dallas. *I would like to insert a shoutout here to my mama who picked Cayden up from Mission Longview that afternoon, kept the three kiddos for the night, got up early, dropped Cayden back at Mission Longview thurs am, took Kirsten and Keegan to the church so Kirsten could help with a make and take they were having were Kirsten helped the kids make clay bowls and Keegan made a bowl and pound cake. Our church does such neat things. Then she picked them up, got them some lunch and picked up Chris at the High school and took them all home and then had to hurry to her own appt! I don't know what we would've done without her and how we would've gotten all the babies where they needed to be. I am so thankful for all the help we get. I can't always tell people what we need but I know any financial help and help with the kids and cleaning and food, that all helps so tremendously, as does prayers and love and support. We are so grateful for everyone who has stood by us and continues too! Its a long road and I'm still struggling at times (possibly more than I would care to admit).* On the way in, Glenn and I were snacking some, he had pistachios and I had sunflower seeds so Kayson said, "I want some flower seeds." so I gave him some. A bit later he says, "I found a flower seed with nothing in it!" I love how he calls them flower seeds! :) As we were getting into Dallas I happened to see this building that apparently Ive never noticed before, it had robots painted on it. Colorful and fun. We got to our hotel and checked and then went on an Arby's hunt bc thats what sounded good. Baby girl was NOT happy to be put back in her carseat! Food hunts in Dallas prove quite interesting when we don't know where maps is taking us. First Arbys we found was closed for the day bc it was in an office building? lunch spot and all was already closed. Oh, well, it was a cool building. It's kinda like we get impromptu sightseeing while driving around looking for where we think we want to go. LOL We saw a really cool fountain at an equally cool building. It was a downtown church. Have I mentioned that I HATE Dallas traffic?! But we finally found an open Arbys and had a good dinner. :) Then back to the hotel for a swim. Kayson was determined we were going to swim! lol. He is a fish! Kayson said, "Ive got the sun spray" We ended up not needing it bc the pool was already shaded. Actually there was a breeze and they had just finished putting more water in so the pool was cold and the breeze was cold once you were wet. We still had fun and got some cool pics but we really didn't stay out long. Kalani was shivering after a bit and we could tell Kayson was cold although he was refusing to admit it bc he did not want to go in yet. Gave the babies a bath, there was purple water from a crayola bath bomb, Kayson loves his bath bombs! :) He also asked for his goggles for hair washing. Kalani threw a fit when it was time to get out. She loves water too! Then Kayson and I played a game of Mancala while Glenn took a shower and I was waiting to bathe. I won. Then it was bedtime, morning was going to come early and we had two appts to get to before heading home. One more pretty cool thing, When I was dropping Chris off at the bus for cross country camp, I overheard another mom talk about the bobcat pride page, so I looked it up and joined it, well it happened that I was looking at a post and someone said something about a class of 2019 group. Thats Kirstens graduating class! So she added me to it and I added Kirsten to it and then I got the idea to look up the others. I am now in a group for each child's graduating class except the baby's, no ones made one for her yet. LOL. I think if I calculated right she'll be class of 2035, I think. So I have a group for class of 2019, 2020, 2025, 2027 and 2030!!! I think we are going to be busy! On that note, I think I'll end this blog post for tonight and try to get everyone in bed bc we have church in the am. Next post, appt day!
The morning started early taking Cayden to Mission Longview. This is third year and he really enjoys it and I love that he's learning to care and help others. Then onto Kayson's therapies. When we got back out to Silver, there was a truck parked in the parking spot behind me but he was a long truck and not all the way in his spot and Silver is long and I had so much trouble getting out of there, I didn't know what I was going to do! I actually almost started crying. Somehow though I did manage to maneuver my way out, I was so thankful and then we headed home. These are the times I really dislike driving something so big, I never expected to drive a large vehicle but I manage. After lunch we headed out. Lunch was good, Glenn and I had our leftover ]\ (that was Kalani) pizza from date night, we tried the new pizza place, it was great. We dropped Kirsten and Keegan at Marmie's, Kayson (of course) and Kalani were going in with us. Chris was away at cross country camp. Marmie had just got back from a cruise and gave each child a keychain from Mexico. (Ummmmm.........You know, I think I still have Chris's and he doesn't even know about it, #greatestmommoment) She also gave Kalani an old remote and Kalani was trying to turn her TV on with it, lol. We said our goodbyes and got on our way to Dallas. *I would like to insert a shoutout here to my mama who picked Cayden up from Mission Longview that afternoon, kept the three kiddos for the night, got up early, dropped Cayden back at Mission Longview thurs am, took Kirsten and Keegan to the church so Kirsten could help with a make and take they were having were Kirsten helped the kids make clay bowls and Keegan made a bowl and pound cake. Our church does such neat things. Then she picked them up, got them some lunch and picked up Chris at the High school and took them all home and then had to hurry to her own appt! I don't know what we would've done without her and how we would've gotten all the babies where they needed to be. I am so thankful for all the help we get. I can't always tell people what we need but I know any financial help and help with the kids and cleaning and food, that all helps so tremendously, as does prayers and love and support. We are so grateful for everyone who has stood by us and continues too! Its a long road and I'm still struggling at times (possibly more than I would care to admit).* On the way in, Glenn and I were snacking some, he had pistachios and I had sunflower seeds so Kayson said, "I want some flower seeds." so I gave him some. A bit later he says, "I found a flower seed with nothing in it!" I love how he calls them flower seeds! :) As we were getting into Dallas I happened to see this building that apparently Ive never noticed before, it had robots painted on it. Colorful and fun. We got to our hotel and checked and then went on an Arby's hunt bc thats what sounded good. Baby girl was NOT happy to be put back in her carseat! Food hunts in Dallas prove quite interesting when we don't know where maps is taking us. First Arbys we found was closed for the day bc it was in an office building? lunch spot and all was already closed. Oh, well, it was a cool building. It's kinda like we get impromptu sightseeing while driving around looking for where we think we want to go. LOL We saw a really cool fountain at an equally cool building. It was a downtown church. Have I mentioned that I HATE Dallas traffic?! But we finally found an open Arbys and had a good dinner. :) Then back to the hotel for a swim. Kayson was determined we were going to swim! lol. He is a fish! Kayson said, "Ive got the sun spray" We ended up not needing it bc the pool was already shaded. Actually there was a breeze and they had just finished putting more water in so the pool was cold and the breeze was cold once you were wet. We still had fun and got some cool pics but we really didn't stay out long. Kalani was shivering after a bit and we could tell Kayson was cold although he was refusing to admit it bc he did not want to go in yet. Gave the babies a bath, there was purple water from a crayola bath bomb, Kayson loves his bath bombs! :) He also asked for his goggles for hair washing. Kalani threw a fit when it was time to get out. She loves water too! Then Kayson and I played a game of Mancala while Glenn took a shower and I was waiting to bathe. I won. Then it was bedtime, morning was going to come early and we had two appts to get to before heading home. One more pretty cool thing, When I was dropping Chris off at the bus for cross country camp, I overheard another mom talk about the bobcat pride page, so I looked it up and joined it, well it happened that I was looking at a post and someone said something about a class of 2019 group. Thats Kirstens graduating class! So she added me to it and I added Kirsten to it and then I got the idea to look up the others. I am now in a group for each child's graduating class except the baby's, no ones made one for her yet. LOL. I think if I calculated right she'll be class of 2035, I think. So I have a group for class of 2019, 2020, 2025, 2027 and 2030!!! I think we are going to be busy! On that note, I think I'll end this blog post for tonight and try to get everyone in bed bc we have church in the am. Next post, appt day!
Wednesday, August 8, 2018
Kayson Strong as an Eagle ~ neuropsych testing
Wed-Thurs 7/18-19/18
And the day begins with little sleep again, what is Dallas doing to me? Keegan has been asking to come with us so we brought him this trip, he was so happy! On the way in, I was typing a blog and the Mac was close to dying but I managed to finish my blog and publish is right before I ran out of battery. I was so glad. Then baby boy needed to pee but we asked if he could wait bc we had already passed Bucees (our usual stop) and we were almost to the hotel and didn't see anywhere to stop and he says, "yes, I can wait for 100 hrs bc we will drive for 20 hrs." *face palm emoji* Then dinner at the hotel and Glenn took the boys swimming and a friend came and took me to Starbucks! She also gave me a pretty notebook that says love your life and I can keep it in my purse to take my blog and doc notes instead of the small yellow legal pads I've been using. :) Next morning we were up early and ate breakfast at the hotel, I really like their breakfast! Then we took Kayson to his testing. It was a long morning of waiting in the waiting room and filling in paperwork, pages and pages. Next appt in a few weeks for his report. Then headed home. Lunch at DQ. Made our Bucees stop this time. Kayson picked up a pop gun that he had trouble making pop just a bit back and he gained enough strength already that he could do it now! That was exciting. We also found the rock bin, we collect these kinds of rocks on our vacations and enjoy just looking through them sometimes so while we were waiting on daddy to finish we kinda played in them, carefully bc we weren't buying, burying our hands, just feeling all the cool rocks, finding ones we liked. Its good sensory input! lol Home! Rest!
And the day begins with little sleep again, what is Dallas doing to me? Keegan has been asking to come with us so we brought him this trip, he was so happy! On the way in, I was typing a blog and the Mac was close to dying but I managed to finish my blog and publish is right before I ran out of battery. I was so glad. Then baby boy needed to pee but we asked if he could wait bc we had already passed Bucees (our usual stop) and we were almost to the hotel and didn't see anywhere to stop and he says, "yes, I can wait for 100 hrs bc we will drive for 20 hrs." *face palm emoji* Then dinner at the hotel and Glenn took the boys swimming and a friend came and took me to Starbucks! She also gave me a pretty notebook that says love your life and I can keep it in my purse to take my blog and doc notes instead of the small yellow legal pads I've been using. :) Next morning we were up early and ate breakfast at the hotel, I really like their breakfast! Then we took Kayson to his testing. It was a long morning of waiting in the waiting room and filling in paperwork, pages and pages. Next appt in a few weeks for his report. Then headed home. Lunch at DQ. Made our Bucees stop this time. Kayson picked up a pop gun that he had trouble making pop just a bit back and he gained enough strength already that he could do it now! That was exciting. We also found the rock bin, we collect these kinds of rocks on our vacations and enjoy just looking through them sometimes so while we were waiting on daddy to finish we kinda played in them, carefully bc we weren't buying, burying our hands, just feeling all the cool rocks, finding ones we liked. Its good sensory input! lol Home! Rest!
Wednesday, August 1, 2018
Raw
written 6-10-18 thru 8-1-18
Oh how I hurt.
the things people have said
they bounce around in my head
what if they are right?
that I'm hateful,
that I'm nothing,
that I shouldn't have my family.........
and more...........
that I'm the toxic one,
the one they can't be around,
the one that never tries,
and more..........
Who will love me?
Who will help me believe in love again?
that I can be loved,
that I'm not so horrible that I deserve to be hated?
What if those closest to me actually believe all that's been said?
Is there healing?
Is it possible?
Where is kindness?
I've tried so hard to run towards hope,
towards light
and love
and peace
broken remains
unfixable?
perhaps
can it really be ok again?
I want the mean words to go away
I just want to feel ok again.
I want to believe
to be loved
really and truly, deeply loved
Oh how I hurt.
the things people have said
they bounce around in my head
what if they are right?
that I'm hateful,
that I'm nothing,
that I shouldn't have my family.........
and more...........
that I'm the toxic one,
the one they can't be around,
the one that never tries,
and more..........
Who will love me?
Who will help me believe in love again?
that I can be loved,
that I'm not so horrible that I deserve to be hated?
What if those closest to me actually believe all that's been said?
Is there healing?
Is it possible?
Where is kindness?
I've tried so hard to run towards hope,
towards light
and love
and peace
broken remains
unfixable?
perhaps
can it really be ok again?
I want the mean words to go away
I just want to feel ok again.
I want to believe
to be loved
really and truly, deeply loved
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