Looking for God in the midst of the hard

I actually took notes down for this blog a few months ago but never sat down to get it typed.  As I look at what I wrote it seems fitting for all we are facing right.  My first thought I put down was how life had been hard especially the last few weeks and I still find that true, however the difference now is, you all share in the hard we are currently facing.  However, then and now, I see ways that God’s grace shines through, especially if I look.  No, the depression doesn’t magically or even supernaturally disappear, the hard things are still there and still must be faced, we still forge ahead but with the knowledge of God in our midst, there in the hard with us, shining His beauty and love if we will open our eyes and take the time to look for Him, be still long enough to let Him speak.  Everything we’ve been through the last few years, my babies still smile and laugh and love, God!  They all have good grades in school, cept the current semester bc our district is not taking grades while we are home bound and sheltering in place.  Kirsten has grown into such a beautiful young woman.  It saddens me that her first year, freshman year of college was pretty much cut short bc of this pandemic but she is picking up extra hours at work.  She works at a grocery store.  She is on the frontlines of this time.  Prayers of protection for her please.  Then Chris!  He has accomplished so much, I am so proud of him.  He will graduate this year and start college next year at the same one as Kirsten.  I am so thankful to have them choose a school close to home.  He plans to run cross country in college while studying engineering and math.  He is so smart!  He amazes me.  He has been helping out during all this too, driving Kirsten to and from work bc her car needs new tires and that came up right before everything started shutting down.  He has also drove my dad into some appointments.  Also ran to the grocery store when we’ve needed something.  Right now as our world is turned upside down and everything is canceled and there’s so much fear and uncertainty, I really need to look and see God.  The birds are singing and the world is blooming, I love to see the fresh green and new wildflowers.  I am thankful, so thankful for our property in this time (well, always, but especially now) where the kids can run and play.  It’s hard when Keegan gets so angry and runs off bc he’s overwhelmed and out of routine and having trouble processing and I don’t know how to help him, how to reach him, but God!  Keegan has always stayed on our property, I’m so thankful for that.  He’s calmer when he comes back to the house.  It’s hard to be growled at by Kayson when he gets mad or doesn’t like what I say or doesn’t want to transition (read get off his iPad) but he has grown so much and is excelling in his school.  He is currently above grade level and not using his IEP accommodations.  That is God!  So amazing!  It’s God that he is still with us!  It’s hard when Kalani wont listen and obey and is into everything and she isnt potty trained, isnt interested it seems, she found pacifiers again and cries if we try to take them, I decided there’s just to much stress right now to fight that battle but God knew we needed her.  Her smile and laughter just lights up our house.  She adores her brothers, she loves having them home! (I do too, actually). She sings and dances all the time.  I see God in the food in our fridge and pantry, in the hand sanitizer we had left from what I bought before school started when it was on sale with the school supplies, in the bird that flew into our living room window and scared us all with a thud but got up and flew away awhile later (we were keeping an eye on it).  Look around, where do you see God at work in your life?